Cross’s Corner: Crossisms of the Dating World, Part I

Introducing our first guest blogger on Casually Ginger, Ms. Kelsey Cross, as Editor-in-Chief of this blog and having a real eye for talent, I had no choice but to let her blog for us, especially after Kelsey vehemently demanded to write [the longest] blog to express her outspoken opinions to the masses.

As you will surely see, Cross has no censor and she doesn’t sugar coat anything, if you think she’s talking about you, she probably is and by-God I respect that. 
In her first post of Cross’s Corner we see a Top 10 of ‘Crossisms’ in the dating world, enjoy!
PS: Kelsey Cross has the most glorious tits (She made me write that).
I watch people, all the time. It’s kind of creepy, but I only do it because I find observation to be a particularly enjoyable pastime.
Unfortunately with all of the time I spend observing, I see a lot of things that baffle, confuse, irritate me or make me go “…DAFUQ?”. And I know I’m hardly the only one. So since we’re all young and riddled with hormones and other disastrous substances, a lot of what I observe has to do with dating and relationships.
And before I start, I will readily admit that yes I too have definitely been guilty of some of the following issues, no one’s perfect after all.
The 10 Things I Wish People Would Stop Fucking Doing in Dating/Relationships:

1.  Waiting for Him to Text First (girls)
This one gets me heated unlike anything else. The issue here is that a good majority of females are under the impression that Men should ALWAYS text first when a romantical situation isbeing initiated, and that the burden of communication and initiation of plans relies solely on the man.

This is not the problem that I have, the problem I have is what starts to happen when a pair has been seeing each other for a little while. My belief is past the first initial communication/dates, the burden of communication becomes equally shared. It is no longer entirely the dudes job to ALWAYS text you first, he has done that, he’s shown interest, he has taken you out and hooray! He’s still around. Now it’s your turn ladies to start picking up the slack and bring shit to 50/50, as everything with relationships should be. If a guy you like is showing interest, why in the hell would you not show interest back?
Here’s why this grinds my gears so much: While there are a myriad of differences between men and women, fundamentally we all have certain similarities and needs and it seems that some have forgotten this. When it comes to the whole process of dating, menfolk stick their necks out and risk rejection multiple times when first meeting, that’s not easy. If you don’t, he’ll find someone who will. Period. 
I’m just guessing here, but under the assumption that men aren’t entirely heartless I’m going to suggest &that when they like a girl, they’re going to be jazzed when that girl is showing some interest and putting fourth some effort back. So send the poor guy a text. Or if you’re not much of a texter, make him a sandwich.
2. Waiting a Certain Amount of Time Between Texting (girls and guys)

A lot of my irritation about this has a lot of the same foundations as the making men text first. It’s making a game out of something that isn’t supposed to be a game. If you wait a while to respond because you actually have a life, are busy, are terrible with your phone or are forgetful (this goes for guys and girls) then ignore this, you’re exempt from this particular tirade. But if you purposely wait a ridiculously long time for every.single.message., well you sure are making it goddamn hard to have a conversation aren’t you? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve always viewed the early stages of dating as the time where you can get to know the other person and decide if this is someone you want in your life or not. So if you’re playing these mind-fuck communication games you’re making it real damn hard to get to know that person and for them to get to know you. To top it all off all of these things really don’t set a good foundation for communication later on and I know that’s almost always a girls’ number one complaint.

3. Playing Hard to Get (guys and girls)

This concept is touted as the end all be all sure-fire way to land a guy (or girl) and for arguments sake let’s say that it works. By playing hard to get you land some dude, but what if that coy, mysterious girl (or guy!) who acts like they DGAF isn’t really who you are? Well then congratulations you just landed a person who is interested in you for a bunch of stuff you just pretended to be, now what? Are you supposed to pretend to be that way for the duration of the relationship? Fuck that. Life is too short to be anything but yourself and most certainly too short to spend it with people who don’t appreciate or enjoy you for who you are. Stop pretending to be something that you’re not, be you and someone out there will love you for just that. Unless you’re just a bitch, in that case you’re sorta screwed, might want to work on that.

Now, I’m not disputing the effectiveness of playing hard to get. I can personally attest to the fact that it works, nothing seems to be more interesting than someone who isn’t interested in you but with that said… why on earth would anyone want to waste their time on someone who purposely acts like they don’t care? I’ve seen multiple girls hung up on guys who played that role and I’ve seen girls do it to guys too. While playing “hard to get” may at times yield results, the premise of trying to land someone by acting like you don’t give a fuck about them is unhealthy, manipulative, backwards, and stupid. So Stop it.

4. Advertising Relationships via Social Media (girls and guys)

This is an EPIDEMIC, it must be stopped. For those who are in relationships and are blessedly happy and choose to congest all social media waves about it, congrats.
Sincerely, it’s always nice to see someone happy. But when you spend most of your time advertising your relationship and posting sweet nothings on your significant others wall you are taking something that should be private and making it public. And just like the Facebook IPO some things should just stay private. There is nothing wrong with wanting the world to see you’re happy but there is a difference between showing what you have and shoving it in everyone’s face, the more these things get flaunted the less sincere they seem or become. Relationships should never be advertised and nor should the things that you say to each other. Keep all of the “I love yous” and the “I miss yous” and the “<3BABBYYYYYYY<3 ❤ <3’s” where they should be…between the two of you and off of our news feeds.

The same thing goes for the flipside if your relationship is one giant flaming ball of dysfunction and bullshit. Seriously, Facebook statuses about it are not going to help you, ever. They just make you look like you’re 12.

– Kelsey Cross

Posted on June 28, 2012, in College, Dating, Facebook, Love, Relationships, Texting. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

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