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Levi Martinez: A Very Cowboy Christmas

Why hello to the loyal fan base of Casually Ginger it’s been awhile since…Well let’s be honest…Your favorite blogger posted and for that, I must apologize.

Now it would be easy to blame all the hectic events in my life that have transpired over the past few months but let’s put that all aside, after all it is the holiday season. Normally during this time I’m happy to be home amongst the very people I call my family. However this year I can’t hope but to have a little extra optimism for my Dallas Cowboys. Yes, the very same franchise that has deprived me of post-season contention for the better part of the last decade and a half. However, this year when one could clearly make a thousand arguments as to why the Cowboys shouldn’t even been a hot topic they have done just that – surprised the football nation.

After Sean Lee, Bruce Carter and the rest of the interior defense went on Injured Reserve, I was like, “Well looks like its time to start focusing on draft day for 2013”.  I am man enough to admit the fact that I had lost hope on my team, thrown in the towel, if you may, but to my disbelief with what seems like the cast from the Replacements the Cowboys have rallied to win 5 of the last 6 games**. Tony Romo, the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys — nay — “My Quarterback” has done the unthinkable, WIN in December against the Eagles, Bengals and Steelers.

**[Editors Note:  We have — ON RECORD — that a self-proclaimed Dallas Cowboy fan gave up on his team midway through the season.  You cannot get much more bandwagon-y then that.  AND IT’S ALL ON RECORD!]

There will be a multitude of variables that will undeniably be said as to why the Cowboys have found a new life when all others have discounted them. Was it the terrible incident of Josh Brent (nose tackle) driving home intoxicated with his best friend another cowboys practice squad player Jerry Brown and killing him? Or was it Dez Bryant and Demarcus Ware two highly talented players, each with various injuries (broken finger, bruised elbow, etc) pushing through the pain as to not let their teammates down?  We may never know, but one thing is for certain when the Cowboys take the field against the New Orleans Saints I know what I will be thankful for…besides the well being of my family and friends. Yes, I will be thankful for the Dallas Cowboys instilling hope in me yet again and why not when this world is out to knock you down, people constantly telling you you’re not good enough well to them I say but one thing HOW BOUT DEM COWBOYS.

Alas my fellow readers,

Maor Gaffer Levi

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The Worst Loss of the Week

We all experience it.  That bitter feeling of defeat, that punch in the gut where your whole week is ruined because something that you have been looking forward to for awhile (for me, its been 9 months in the making) is taken from you and ruined.  And even worse, you know what’s coming — the Facebook posts, the Twitter tweets, the text messages, the Snapchat’s of people laughing at you, and if people still use it — the phone calls of people giving you shit because your beloved team lost.

So I’m here — mainly because I needed to blog and Kavon wanted me to write something — to rank the worst defeats of the week.  So, if one of your teams lost in dramatic fashion, a blow out, or your favorite player got hurt, then get all your sharp objects away from you because we are all on suicide watch.

Warning:  If you are in a good mood, no that’s too happy, if you are in a mediocre mood don’t read this you will become extremely depressed and may cut your wrists and black your eyes while listening to the Dashboard Confessionals.

The Candidates: 

  • The San Francisco 49ers blow out loss to the New York Giants – Well, we might as well start with my number one reason for depression of the week.  It started on a cold January afternoon (actually it was like 65 degrees in San Diego, suck it non-Californians), but the 49ers were in position to advance to their first Super Bowl since defeating the San Diego “Super” Chargers in 1995 and all did not exactly go well.  In case you’ve been living in a cave or have been so inebriated for 9 months then you probably know that the 49ers lost that game because of a couple fumbles here and there and an inept offense.  Okay, I’m officially teary eyed…must power through.  Well, the 49ers had a chance for a little bit of revenge on Sunday.  They had the defending Super Bowl Champions – who the Niners thought had their championship – in their home stadium again and laid a complete egg.  Dominated 26-3, the 49ers threw three interceptions, recorded zero sacks and got one (!) hit on Eli “Mouth Breather” Manning and didn’t even reach the Red Zone.  It felt like I was watching a Cleveland Browns game.  Okay, now I’ve gone from teary eyed to weeping like I’m watching Click or Air Bud (Fun Fact: those are the only two movies I’ve openly cried too).  Level of Depression: Getting drunk and bashing your head while yelling “Oops” like you’re on Real World.  (PS: RIP to that guy in previous video).
  • The New York Yankees and Derek Jeter – Not only did the New York Yankees lose the first two games of the ALCS at home, they lost Mr. Yankee Derek “How Could You End it With Minka Kelly” Jeter to a broken ankle.  But don’t worry Yankee fans you still have Alex Rodriguez.  Wait…he’s not on the juice anymore and 37 years old and strikes out almost every time a pitcher throws him a pitch?  Well, shit.  They can still win tonight though, right?!  Oh…Justin Verlander is pitching?  Shoot…I’m trying to find a silver lining…I got nothing.  Level of Depression: Find someone to feed you popcorn because popcorn makes everyone feel better! Right A-Rod? 
  • How Bout ‘Dem Cowboys – Ah, I’ve totally forgotten the first bullet point and I have reached a happy medium after the Cowboys loss (Sorry Levi).  The Cowboys ran the ball down the throats of the Baltimore Ravens, managed to injure Ray Lewis and LaDarius Webb for the rest of the year and injured Haloti Ngata for the remainder of their game and still couldn’t pull off the win.  Dez Bryant had arguably the best game of his career – something Cowboy fans have been waiting for since he was drafted – but with every high their is a low, and that low is a Dez Bryant dropped two point conversion.  Down two, the Cowboys recovered an onside kick, got a pass interference call, but wait, here comes that low, terrible clock management from Head Coach Jason Garrett set up the Cowboys for a long field goal that Dan Bailey missed wide left.  But hey, at least they caught the snap! Level of Depression:  Actually, I don’t know how depressed Cowboy fans are, they have to be used to this, right?
  • The San Diego “Super” Chargers – Okay, now I’m completely over that first bullet point, what 49er loss?  I had to save the best – or worst, depending how you look at it – for last.  The Chargers dominated the first half 24-0, mainly because the Broncos thought the football like it was Hulk Hogan’s disgusting Sex Tape.  After that debacle, the Philip Rivers decided to revert to 2011-Philip Rivers where he thought being on offense was a dumb idea and he liked giving it away.  The Broncos stormed back to score 35 unanswered to defeat the Chargers 35-24.  The Chargers became the first team in NFL history to be up by 24 points at the half only to lose by double digits.  Ouch.  The loss inspired some great Facebook and Twitter posts along with the hashtag – #FireNorv (the only one suitable for your eyes).  All is not bad Charger fans, they are tied for first in the AFC Worst West at 3-3.  Level of Depression:  From what I read on social networks, it is not depression that San Diegites? San Diegans? are suffering from it’s more rage, so Norv and Philip, if you’re reading this lock your million dollar homes, there is a mob coming for you.  I think Rivers has enough kids to build a tiny army though.

– Lance Cartelli

How Bout Dem Cowboys!

I know it may be a bit premature to hype up a team that is already over-hyped but HOW BOUT DEM COWBOYS! Over the past three years, The Cowboys have been nothing but mediocre. They’ve averaged a mere 8 wins with all the talent in the world (insert Roy Williams). But on Wednesday night when ‘MERICA’s team took the field at the Meadowlands, it was a new resurgent team that faced the defending Super Bowl champs (God I hate saying that) the New York Giants.

Early on in the game Tony Romo threw a pick that had everyone (including my ginger Editor-In-Chief) saying “Here we go again!” What came next even astonished me (Dallas’ biggest hipster fan), a defense that kept the Giants from scoring and a head coach that was a bit overzealous that the FCC couldn’t contain his expression (F! yes). That would set the tone for the remainder of the game, where instead of going down by 7 the defense allowed 3 points and let the offense get back to work.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that my admiration for Kevin Ogletree was as abundant as the meatball crew’s love for Parker, Arizona (seriously that place should be burnt down!) After three unproductive years with the cowboys I had thrown in the towel for Ogletree and was amongst the many petitioning to have him removed from the team (hell, I would drive to texas myself and boot him out of there after all the dropped passes). But like all great coaches, Jason Garrett decided to give him one last chance and boy was he ever more right! Ogletree had a career high in receptions, yards, touchdowns and even camera spotlights. From undrafted free agent, unwanted, un-insert any slanderous terms Kevin Ogletree defied all odds and rocked out with his C@$% OUT!

So to bring an end to this love letter which is obviously addressed to the Dallas Cowboys and it’s flamboyant owner JERRY Mutha F#$ken Jones, I say thank you for once again introducing hope and affording me the opportunity to say HOW BOUT DEM COWBOYS! Eff you Seattle don’t think I don’t see you.

This message is approved and certified by MAOR LEVI

P.S. I’M BACK MOFUK@$

– Levi Martinez

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